Introduction
In our Christian journey, we often find ourselves in various situations that may not be entirely peaceful. So, how do we find peace with God while being part of a church community, and how can we foster peace and unity within it?
When we hold resentment and negative thoughts towards other fellow believers, or when we criticize them directly or indirectly, we create spiritual walls (whether willingly or unwillingly) between us. We might not see these walls, but they do exist in the spiritual world, and most importantly, the Lord sees and feels them. And if there are too many spiritual walls within a church or group, then the spiritual blessings from the Lord cannot flow well, since the Lord is unhappy with us, as He is the God of peace. Therefore, we need to grow spiritually and mature in our faith, moving beyond quarrels over opinions (Romans 14:1) and focusing on what is right or wrong based on the Word of God.
So, the question for us is how to avoid conflict situations with brothers and sisters in faith, live in peace with each other, show love to all, and keep our conscience at peace with the Lord. To achieve this, it is essential to remember that the Lord sees and hears our hearts. If we don’t like someone or if we talk badly about them, the Lord is greater than our hearts, and He condemns our hearts, causing us to lose our peace. And if this happens, we need to repent right away and ask the Lord’s help to give us a loving heart.
How To Avoid Conflicts with Fellow Believers
The Bible offers numerous teachings on how to avoid conflicts with others, behave appropriately in the world, and love everyone, even our enemies. A helpful passage is found in 1 John 3:18-24, where we are encouraged to love our fellow believers.
18 My Little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue; but in deed and truth.
What does it mean to genuinely love my brothers and sisters? A: Pray genuinely for them and their well-being, wishing them well without being jealous or selfish. Avoid judging them and thinking negatively about them.
19 And by this, we know that we are of the truth, and we will assure our heart before Him,
20 because if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows all things.
This verse tells us that the Lord knows what our heart feels and what our mind thinks about everything, and that should be a sobering thought for us, prompting us to repent when we harbor any harmful or negative feelings toward our fellow believers.
21 Beloved, if our heart condemns us not, we have confidence toward God;
22 and whatever we ask we receive of Him, because we keep his commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight.
Therefore, we must watch our hearts if we want to pray for ourselves and one another; since the Lord sees our hearts, we can’t pray for our brothers and sisters in truth if we don’t love them from our hearts!
23 And this is His commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, even as he gave us commandment.
Here, in this verse, we have two essential commandments for our lives as followers of the Lord Jesus: faith in the Lord Jesus and love for one another.
24 And he that keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which He has given us.
Therefore, within our church community, what should we do when we don’t like a message, or what a brother or sister says or does, and we feel that God calls us to correct or confront someone? We might feel that we must act on behalf of our Lord and try to correct people. However, before we act, we must seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit and be sure that He is guiding us in our hearts to act. Furthermore, all things we do and say must be backed up by the Word of God, the Bible, and must be done in love, and we should not act driven by our human impulses. One good Bible passage to consider when faced with a confrontational situation is Romans 14:1-4.
1 But the one being weak in faith, receive, not for passing judgment or reasoning.
2 One indeed has faith to eat all things, but the one being weak, eats vegetables.
3 Let not the one that eats despise the one that eats not; and let not the one that eats not judge the one that eats, for God has received him.
4 Who are you judging the servant of another? To his own lord he stands or falls. However, he will be upheld; for the Lord has power to uphold him.
Romans 14:4 verse falls in the context of “judge not, that you be not judged,” which the Lord Jesus Himself teaches us in the Gospel of Matthew 7:1-6.
1 Judge not, that you be not judged.
You can judge neither faith nor behavior; there is nothing to judge. The Lord doesn’t want us to be accusers. You cannot make your own way straight, so how can you judge someone else? You can only judge if it goes against the Word of God. The Bible is the scale between right and wrong.
2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with what measure you measure, it will be measured to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the beam in your eye? 4 Or how will you say to your brother, Permit me cast out the speck from your eye; and behold, the beam is in your eye? 5 You hypocrite, cast out first the beam from your eye, and then you will see clearly to cast out the speck from your brother’s eye.
6 Do not give that which is holy to the dogs, nor throw your pearls before the pigs, lest they will trample them with their feet, and having turned rend you.
What “is holy” here refers to the understanding of the Bible. Do not try to explain it to dogs; “dogs” refers to those who say they are believers, but in reality, they are not. You will recognize them by their fruits.
“Pearls” refers to the understanding of the Word of God. So, when you see people starting to argue and not believing, stop arguing.
“Pigs or swine” refers to those who never think about God (such as atheists who do not believe that God created everything they see).
Furthermore, in John 7:24 we are told not to judge by the appearance but by using the Word of God:
24 Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
As the verse tells us, do not judge what you see with your eyes, but always go back to the Holy Word and then let your heart meditate; don’t talk out before the word that you have read had told your heart if what you see it goes against the word or not; always let the Holy Word go out before your mind. The righteous judgment can be made only by meditating on the Holy Word.
Conclusions
So, what are we supposed to do when we really feel that things are not right? Should we confront people, criticize them, report them to the church board, or gossip and share our feelings with others? In dealing with our heart conflict in a situation like this, we should base our actions on what Romans 14:4 tells us: “Who are you judging the servant of another?” This question is the key to our understanding of what we need to do and should make us ask ourselves, “Who are we in the Lord’s eyes?”
We are children of God (1 John 3:2). So, what do children do when they have issues? They report to their parents on each other. Therefore, the best way to deal with our problems is to pray, share our feelings first with the Lord, and ask for His guidance. He is our Master and Lord. The Lord is our Master, and He is responsible for teaching us and judging us. We need to trust the Lord and recognize that He knows how to teach His children; we simply need to pray and tell the Lord about our issues, and let Him deal with His servants, including us. And after we confess to the Lord our problems, we may discover that we have issues ourselves. However, if the Lord wants us to discuss our brothers’ and sisters’ mistakes with them, He will provide an opportunity for us to do so. Nevertheless, we should not go and confront them, but rather approach them in a way that is in line with the Lord’s will.
In conclusion, every follower of the Lord Jesus is accountable to His Master, the Trinity of God, and must act in accordance with the Word of God, being responsible for maintaining peace within themselves and promoting peace within their church community.
Meditation Tasks:
- Meditate on some personal issues you might have with fellow believers or the church and bring these issues to the Lord.